I wanted to do something simple. I wanted to go to the KFC website and find out what’s on the menu. Should be as simple as jaywalking, right?
I go to the KFC website and look at the top menu:
Guess I want “FOOD”, ey?
So I click it and a drop down menu appears:
Seriously? You have a section called “CHICKEN” that doesn’t include everything on your menu? C’mon.
At this point I’m thinking they’re just acting foolish, letting the designer get ahead of the content. Happens often enough, just more clicking for me. Little did I know…
Fine, I’ll click on “CLASSICS” and see what we’ve got. I’d like to know what’s in the bowl of food (which I now know they call the Famous Bowl), and I can see a hint of that bowl in the menu item picture.
Okay, I’ve got two choices. You couldn’t just put these under “CHICKEN”? *sigh* Click on FAMOUS BOWL.
Ooookay. Just a picture. One fucking picture. No description of what’s in the bowl, but I can get nutritional information. I don’t want nutritional info, I want to know what this bowl of food is made up of. Some detective work on the picture tells me it’s chicken bits, two types of shredded cheese (yellow and white), corn, mashed potatoes, and looks like some gravy. Not that I know if that’s all that’s in there, it’s just what I can see from the picture. A picture of food that’s 80% bowl and the actual food is partially obscured by the Nutrition box, which I’m still not fucking interested in.
So how big is this bowl? How much do I get? Fuck! There’s zero info here. Maybe they’ve put the list of ingredients on the nutritional info page for this product, like a bunch of idiots. Fine. *click*
NOPE! Blank fucking nutritional calculator. GOD FUCKING DAMMIT! You assholes lured me into clicking on a link I don’t care about in hopes of finding the information about your products that should be front and fucking center on your site, and you dump me into a blank nutrition calculator page? The FUCK?! So NOW I have to find the bowl thingy again but in this new menu.
*click* CLASSICS > *click* FAMOUS BOWL… *click* FAMOUS BOWL… *click* FAMOUS BOWL… the fuck? Nothing’s happening. Wait… Ohhhh. You. People. FUCKING. SUCK!
The number of servings change when you click the menu item. That’s it. *click* *click* *click* *click* Yup… that’s it. Fuck you guys. Just go fuck yourselves.
But wait. Is there redemption toward the bottom of the page? Is that… is that an ingredients list (statement) link? Could they actually be supplying the information I want, finally, in this bullshit, out-of-the-way link? I tremble with anger-fueled adrenaline and a last glimmer of hope… *click*
These demonic piles of shit link me to a PDF that contains the ingredients of EVERY. SINGLE. FUCKING. PRODUCT. they sell. It’s the info I want, but in the least accessible format they can possibly manage. Basically useless.
I’m so furious I can’t use exclamation points. It’s that burning ember charcoal kind of furious, super hot but really calm. And then I made this post because KFC created a shitty fucking website, and they should know they actually make people angry with how poorly it’s been designed and implemented.
God. Fucking. Dammit.