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Reason.com informs us that a group of startups (Evertrue, Kinvey, Localytics, etc.) decided to get together to throw themselves a combined holiday party, so that employees of each of these small firms could schmooze with each other and others in the local tech scene.
As they have the last three years.
And, as they have the last three years, they structured the party thusly: a rented hotel function room, an open bar, a $50 cover charge, invites sent out over eventbrite.com, and surplus funds donated to charity via
tugg.org. (The exact recipient of the charity was TBA, but was to come from one of TUGG’s “portfolio” of causes: Latino STEM Alliance, Youth Cities, Technology for Autism, Music & Youth, etc.
The Boston Police, meanwhile, was hard at work at solving the murders and homicides in the city.
I’m joking, of course.
The Boston Police were actually setting up a sting to catch anyone who violated the
204 CMR 4.03 1 (e) which makes it illegal to vary the price of alcohol over time.
I’d explain why this is an important regulation, and why anyone who violates it deserves to go to hell and/or be arrested, but I think it’s pretty clear: we can’t just have people selling things at different prices at different times, or we’d there’d be complete anarchy.
So, anyway, the Boston Police, having solved the problem of murder, rape, and larceny within its territory, turned its attention to a consortium of technology startups and raided their Christmas party.
The good news is that a peaceful resolution was achieved: once the tech startups (cough) voluntarily (cough) agreed that instead of donating the profits to something silly like encouraging Latino youth to excel at science and technology, they’d instead donate it to a
charity organization of armed individuals known as the “Boston Police Department”, all charges were dropped.
I’m sort of curious to ask for records on Boston PD policies, but I’ve recently learned that Boston LEOs refuse to respond to public documents requests and threaten to arrest journalists who call them on the phone.
Render unto Caesar, my friends. And if at any point you’re not sure which wordly power is Caesar, remember: he’s the one who can crucify people without repercussions.